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[ God. He can hear the tears in Yuya's voice, even if he can't see them, and it just makes him clamp down on his lip even harder, until he tastes the salt of blood and eases up a little. He tries to laugh, but it's a quiet, incredulous and wavering sound, soft and unsure if it's even heard over Yuya's yelling. ]

Sorry, but I failed, so you don't get to know why. It's better if you don't, Yuya. It's better if you don't... [ "be my friend," but after losing Toki, the pain of that still raw and deep, he can't bring himself to say it. ] If you don't trust me anymore.

[Yuya smacks his fist against the door again.]

Jerk! You were there, I know--you know what that place was like! It hurt. It hurts. Do you even care?! Did you ever care--about me? What about Nana?!

[It hurt so much. Why won't Kano just tell him why he hurt him? How can he claim he's always doing things to make amends, and not care about hurting them in the first place?]

[ Of the people Kano had seen in the Daze, Nana wasn't one of them. Yuya wasn't supposed to be one of them. There wasn't supposed to be any murder, Kano wasn't supposed to have been stuck in the Daze, and he really wishes Yuya had taken the hint about the roadtrip and protective gear and all that just the day before, as flippant as the conversation was. ]

Shut up. I care, but who are you to believe me? Why should I waste my time trying to convince you?

I'm the person who died again to get you out of that place after you stayed behind.

[He doesn't need Kano to convince him, because whatever Kano says isn't what matters. He needs to see it. Yuya needs to see him.]

So let me in there and face me. Because that's what I'm asking for instead of walking away. I didn't have to look for you, but I did, so stop shutting me out!

[ For all Kano cares, that's Yuya's problem. Always caring too much about people— about him— always rushing into things to save people, putting his safety and well-being aside for the sake of others, needing to play the hero. That's Yuya's problem, even if it was for Kano's sake.

He's going to get punched. He more than deserves it, but opening the door means opening up— in the sense that something will progress, when he'd just rather just leave it at Yuya hating his guts and walking away from him. Maybe, if he's lucky, Yuya will punch him in the stomach and then walk away, a win-win situation for everybody.

Wordlessly, Kano trudges towards the door and opens it; instead of taking a step back like he would always do, he stays, leaning against the frame. Silent. ]

[Yuya stands there, staring at Kano with hard eyes and streaks of tears down his face. Now that he has to see him, it's taken the words out of his mouth for a moment.

And then he strides forward, at once moving to slam his fist into Kano's stomach and bulldoze his way into Kano's room by force. He knows he's stronger, and he expects that to work in his favor. If he can, he'll squeeze the door shut behind him too.]

[ Ugh—- the punch knocks the wind out of him, Kano doubling over to grab his stomach and curl in on himself so Yuya wouldn't be able to see- fuck, is he coming inside? That's the opposite of what Kano wanted, picking himself back off the ground and trying to get the door open again, Yuya can't hold it closed forever. ]

Hey, hey, hey, get out, get out!! My room's a mess, so you're not invited!!!

[ The room is, of course, as clean and empty as always. Except the bed is made and there is no chair. Nightmare, the bearded dragon, blinks down at the two boys from the top bunks. ]

[Yuya slams his back against the door, using his weight to keep it shut regardless of Kano's protests. He flexes his fingers looking down at his hand as he breathes deeply and doesn't even give Kano a second glance.

He looks up finally, weary-eyed and eyes quickly glancing over Kano's face for signs that his illusion is up and what expression he's making.]

What were you trying to do?

[ His illusion is up, like it always is. Yuya never gets to see the dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair, cuts and bruises up and down his arms. He looks away from Yuya, eyes on the ground as he takes a step back and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. ]

...I did exactly what it looks like.

[ Again, not answering Yuya's question. He did what he did; intentions don't matter. ]

Edited 2019-05-26 01:29 (UTC)

What did you want to happen after you summoned that daemon? [He can keep asking, a hundred different ways until he chips away to the answer he wants.

The intention does matter to him.]

[ Yuya will have to keep asking, a hundred different ways because this isn't something Kano wants to admit. Because the intention isn't a wholly good one, it definitely isn't one that Yuya would agree with, and it really doesn't matter.

Enough playing along, he decides. Yuya won't get the truth out of him, so instead, he'll do what he does best: be aggravating and annoying until the other party walks away in frustration. Yuya can hit him as many times as he wants: this is the Kano that Yuya knows better, one who smiles and jokes and dodges around all the important things; why change now? ]

Hm~ Something like... world peace?

How does summoning a demon make world peace? [His tone is as flat as his expression.] Didn't you read enough to know what kind of demon it'd be like?

Hm... Yep! I knew exactly what I was doing. It was for the sake of world peace, but too bad, I failed~

[ Of course he knew what he was doing, researching and studying and seeking out a good place and day to do it. He thought he had prepared for everything. It wasn't supposed to have gone wrong. ]

What part was a failure? [Wrong demon? The death? Not dying properly?]

...Everything? Look at what happened. What part could you say was a success?

[ World peace was not achieved. But still... even at the very very very end, there was a glimmer of hope that something could have gone right. Kano, for all the time he was stuck in the Daze meeting up with people as they found their way out, never did try to escape himself.

If not for Ziggy, and Yuya, and everybody else who'd brought everybody back, Kano would have died in there. And he would have been okay with it. ]

I don't know, as long as you keep hiding what you were thinking. You're not me, so I can't assume you feel the same way about what you did.

[He tilts his head to look at Kano wearily. It feels like it should be obvious why he keeps asking.] Is your way of 'making it up to me' going to be pretending my feelings aren't there? That I'm not hurt?

[ Yuya is obviously upset, not even Kano can pretend he isn't. But what can Kano do in this situation? Apologies don't mean anything from Kano. Explaining himself would be more harm than good.

He shrugs. ]

Your hurt feelings are being heard loud and clear, Yu~ya. As for making it up to you... I'll do it in my own way.

[ Which means not through any real apology, and not through honesty, or confidence. He turns on his heels and pulls himself up onto the loft, lifting Nightmare up so he can lie down and place her back on his stomach. ]

Close the door when you leave.

Yeah, I see. [Yuya slumps, expression twisting in frustration as tears blur his vision again.] The feelings that matter most are yours, aren't they? That's why it has to be your way. That's why you don't care. You don't care.

[ Just give Yuya what he wants. It'll be quick and easy and then it'll be over. ]

That's right. I can't afford to keep everybody else in consideration, or I wouldn't be able to do anything. How it is... the ends will justify the means. So you don't matter. I'll do things my way.

[Yuya grits his teeth, sucking in a sharp, angry breath. He doesn't make a move at first, doesn't make any sound after.

And then he kicks off the door and hauls himself up on the bed, grabbing for Kano's arms with his nails digging in and kneeling over him to pin him down.]

Ugh- geez!!

[ Yuya's too quick for him to prevent the flash of pain of having his arms grabbed over the deep cuts that still pepper them. For a split second, he's unmasked, eyes swimming with tears and a grimace on his face, before he's able to numb himself and wipe all expression off his face and try to kick Yuya off him. ]

Why can't you take a hint and leave me alone?!

Says you! [Yuya leans his weight forward in refusal.

The grip from his hand tightens.] Take off your illusions and say that again. To my face, not hiding behind your stupid powers!

Leave me alone.

[ But he does not take off his illusions; he doesn't need to, so long as he's prepared to keep himself numb as long as it takes. If he cannot feel pain, his illusions won't fall. He cannot feel the way his gut wrenches or his heart pounds or his mind spins and tilts. He can't feel any of that, no anger, no worry no fear, no nothing. He's nothing inside. He's nothing. But he's safe. ]

Is that what you really want? Should I have just stayed dead? [A shudders runs through his shoulders.] You owe me a favor, so take them off. Show me what your face really looks like right now.

No.

[ He won't let Yuya see his real face, and he doesn't want to see Yuya's either, shutting his eyes and turning his head. ]

You shouldn't've died in the first place, and I don't owe you shit. Who cares what my face looks like?

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