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[Yuya slams his back against the door, using his weight to keep it shut regardless of Kano's protests. He flexes his fingers looking down at his hand as he breathes deeply and doesn't even give Kano a second glance.

He looks up finally, weary-eyed and eyes quickly glancing over Kano's face for signs that his illusion is up and what expression he's making.]

What were you trying to do?

[ His illusion is up, like it always is. Yuya never gets to see the dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair, cuts and bruises up and down his arms. He looks away from Yuya, eyes on the ground as he takes a step back and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. ]

...I did exactly what it looks like.

[ Again, not answering Yuya's question. He did what he did; intentions don't matter. ]

Edited 2019-05-26 01:29 (UTC)

What did you want to happen after you summoned that daemon? [He can keep asking, a hundred different ways until he chips away to the answer he wants.

The intention does matter to him.]

[ Yuya will have to keep asking, a hundred different ways because this isn't something Kano wants to admit. Because the intention isn't a wholly good one, it definitely isn't one that Yuya would agree with, and it really doesn't matter.

Enough playing along, he decides. Yuya won't get the truth out of him, so instead, he'll do what he does best: be aggravating and annoying until the other party walks away in frustration. Yuya can hit him as many times as he wants: this is the Kano that Yuya knows better, one who smiles and jokes and dodges around all the important things; why change now? ]

Hm~ Something like... world peace?

How does summoning a demon make world peace? [His tone is as flat as his expression.] Didn't you read enough to know what kind of demon it'd be like?

Hm... Yep! I knew exactly what I was doing. It was for the sake of world peace, but too bad, I failed~

[ Of course he knew what he was doing, researching and studying and seeking out a good place and day to do it. He thought he had prepared for everything. It wasn't supposed to have gone wrong. ]

What part was a failure? [Wrong demon? The death? Not dying properly?]

...Everything? Look at what happened. What part could you say was a success?

[ World peace was not achieved. But still... even at the very very very end, there was a glimmer of hope that something could have gone right. Kano, for all the time he was stuck in the Daze meeting up with people as they found their way out, never did try to escape himself.

If not for Ziggy, and Yuya, and everybody else who'd brought everybody back, Kano would have died in there. And he would have been okay with it. ]

I don't know, as long as you keep hiding what you were thinking. You're not me, so I can't assume you feel the same way about what you did.

[He tilts his head to look at Kano wearily. It feels like it should be obvious why he keeps asking.] Is your way of 'making it up to me' going to be pretending my feelings aren't there? That I'm not hurt?

[ Yuya is obviously upset, not even Kano can pretend he isn't. But what can Kano do in this situation? Apologies don't mean anything from Kano. Explaining himself would be more harm than good.

He shrugs. ]

Your hurt feelings are being heard loud and clear, Yu~ya. As for making it up to you... I'll do it in my own way.

[ Which means not through any real apology, and not through honesty, or confidence. He turns on his heels and pulls himself up onto the loft, lifting Nightmare up so he can lie down and place her back on his stomach. ]

Close the door when you leave.

Yeah, I see. [Yuya slumps, expression twisting in frustration as tears blur his vision again.] The feelings that matter most are yours, aren't they? That's why it has to be your way. That's why you don't care. You don't care.

[ Just give Yuya what he wants. It'll be quick and easy and then it'll be over. ]

That's right. I can't afford to keep everybody else in consideration, or I wouldn't be able to do anything. How it is... the ends will justify the means. So you don't matter. I'll do things my way.

[Yuya grits his teeth, sucking in a sharp, angry breath. He doesn't make a move at first, doesn't make any sound after.

And then he kicks off the door and hauls himself up on the bed, grabbing for Kano's arms with his nails digging in and kneeling over him to pin him down.]

Ugh- geez!!

[ Yuya's too quick for him to prevent the flash of pain of having his arms grabbed over the deep cuts that still pepper them. For a split second, he's unmasked, eyes swimming with tears and a grimace on his face, before he's able to numb himself and wipe all expression off his face and try to kick Yuya off him. ]

Why can't you take a hint and leave me alone?!

Says you! [Yuya leans his weight forward in refusal.

The grip from his hand tightens.] Take off your illusions and say that again. To my face, not hiding behind your stupid powers!

Leave me alone.

[ But he does not take off his illusions; he doesn't need to, so long as he's prepared to keep himself numb as long as it takes. If he cannot feel pain, his illusions won't fall. He cannot feel the way his gut wrenches or his heart pounds or his mind spins and tilts. He can't feel any of that, no anger, no worry no fear, no nothing. He's nothing inside. He's nothing. But he's safe. ]

Is that what you really want? Should I have just stayed dead? [A shudders runs through his shoulders.] You owe me a favor, so take them off. Show me what your face really looks like right now.

No.

[ He won't let Yuya see his real face, and he doesn't want to see Yuya's either, shutting his eyes and turning his head. ]

You shouldn't've died in the first place, and I don't owe you shit. Who cares what my face looks like?

I care, obviously. That's why I keep chasing after you all this time, because I care! Because the Kano that hates himself is my friend but he keeps running away like I don't mean anything to him!

If--if you're going to throw me away, you could at least mean it.

[ Yuya keeps saying that, and he doesn't get it- doesn't get why Maverick kept insisting they're still friends even know Kano is a shit and will always be a shit, saying stuff like that that makes his chest hurt no matter how hard Kano tries to cling to the numbness. ]

Stupid. Dumbass. I'm pushing you away 'cause you'll be better off without me. If I didn't care, I never would've opened the door.

... And if I really believed that, I wouldn't have made you let me in.

[His expression eases a little, and his fingers no longer dig into Kano's arms as they press against him.]

And if you really didn't care you wouldn't have any reason not to tell me. So it is really that you're afraid to give me a reason to leave instead of being the one to push my away?

[ Yuya's not only stupid, but he's a fool. The moment Yuya lets up, Kano wrenches his arms away so he can turn around and bury his face into his pillow, mumbled words that Yuya will just have to keep quiet and decipher. ]

I've given you tons of reasons to leave, but you're too blind to see 'em. Did you know, even Toki saw them.

So what makes this one any different? [Like, he knows, getting him and Nana murdered should be enough reason for him to have turned his back right then. Maybe if anger was the only thing he felt for Kano, but it couldn't be after everything.

He still doesn't get off, but when Kano turns his head away Yuya reaches to, instead, gently run his fingers through Kano's hair.]

Could you really listen to me for once, and not put the things you think I should be saying in my mouth? I've always been honest about it.

[ There's the startle again, when Yuya touches his hair, not expecting the contact, for one, and especially not one so gentle. It's enough to make Kano sit up, and give Yuya a brief, bewildered look, before he flops back down again and lets the pillow reclaim his face. ]

You're too honest, if you ask me. But I'm listening, I'm listening... I do listen, even though you're always too scared to speak your mind about this or that. I can tell, you know?

[It only lasts for a moment before Yuya draws his hands back and rests them against his legs.]

Guess we didn't do a good job sharing secrets. [He reaches to rub his eye, expression twisting wryly.]

It hurts, Kano. It... really does. All of that, it hurt so much. [He takes in a sharp breath, trying to keep his emotions steady.] And I'm upset but... but I don't want you to get rid of me because of it. Or run away. You don't--something like this isn't for no reason, and whether it was a failure or not... what you were thinking matters to me.

You don't have to be alone and just keep hurting yourself, or anyone else. You can talk to me, and I'm still here aren't I?

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