suddenlybees | || IC INBOX

[sighhh]

Cricket, you're so fucking you that you could do that shit with a tricycle and I would only be surprised for a whole fucking second and a half.

[ ...Actually, that could work. It's not like he needs a motorbike, when he can just make it look like he has one, and with a three-wheeler, he won't even be in danger of falling off and crashing into the ground and dispelling his illusion that way. ]

That's true... Hey, hey, how fast can a tricycle go, do you know? Maybe I can get the science club to attach rocket boosters to the back of one? Overall, the expenses must be much lower like this, right?!

[He shakes his head and with an amused huff, nudges his elbow lightly into Kano.]

No fucking clue. Sounds way easier, though. Maybe we can find a bunch of weird shit at the junkyard they'll take as a downpayment for the rockets. Already know puppy's a fan of dumpster diving.

Haha, that's gross!! [ He's imagining like. Tyzias' dumpster. Rotten food dumpster with flies and gross wet things inside. ] But a junkyard's a whole different story! We can take anything we want, right?! Anything that can fit into our pockets?!

I'm fucking floored you're not a fan.

[Kano is a trashgarbage dumpsterbaby raccoon who should love dumpster diving. This is the professional opinion of the literal dumpsterbaby.]

Pockets and my backpack, once we get these snacks taken care of.

[ For somebody whose room is completely barren, Kano sure loves hoarding junk. But he's always looking forward to things that are useful, and everything in that junk pile, he can basically use as currency with Peter, apparently. Who can maybe build Kano a real fire escape someday. ]

Well, come on, then! Open up your bag and let's eat through your snacks!

[Instead, Maverick will unzip the main compartment and use his feet to shove the bag closer to Kano, between them on the floor. Have at it.

There's pretzels, chips, trail mix, cheap madeleines and macarons, various dehydrated fruits, two oranges (only one of which is peeled, so he probably got mad), string cheese, crackers, nuts, gummies...curiously, no jerky. There's bottles of water and soda, a couple each, at the very bottom.]

[ Oh, heck yeah...

Kano claims that peeled orange first, and then starts shoving pretzel and trail mix bags into his pockets. These snacks aren't for eating, he's just pocketing Maverick's snacks. ]

[okay but please be eating the peeled orange???? not putting it in your pocket?]

...Not to point out the fucking obvious, but you hoard food like someone who's got a fucking problem.

[ He will eat the peeled orange and only that. Maybe also some of that water, although he twists off the cap to break the seal and then recaps it and sets it back down without taking a single sip. ]

I'm not hoarding food? I'm saving it for later.

[squints]

What the fuck do you think hoarding food is...?

Liiiiiiike, when you're collecting food over a long period of time and in enough quantities to stock a bomb shelter to feed three people for ten years?

[ This is exactly what he's doing. ]

I mean, yeah, food hoarding for fucking doomsday preppers. It doesn't have to be zero or sixty, though, there's a whole bunch of numbers in between. Wait, how high can you count? Maybe I need to dumb down the scale.

[Gotta insult the kid so he doesn't think he cares so much.]

[ Wow! He'll show Maverick how dumb he is!! Know that Maverick brought this upon himself. ]

I wonder~ Let's see!

[ Kano takes a deep breath, and then starts counting. ]

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight--

[ etc etc etc, while continuing to stuff nuts into his pockets ]

[That's fine. Maverick will just watch, silently praying that he isn't left with just the madeleines, macarons, and gummies he only got and put in there for Kano's sake in the first place. His finger taps against his phone at each new number, following along, but eventually he looks up and nudges Kano.]

Sorry, cricket, time to go.

[Junkyard time!!]

[ The sweets are definitely some of the last to go, but once they get to their stop, Kano's forced to grab larger handfuls and finish stuffing absolutely everything into his pockets before hopping off the bus.

The only thing he's actually eaten was the one orange, Maverick never got his one single snack he was promised in return for providing a clue, and Kano somehow still has enough space in his pockets to shove his hands inside to keep them warm as he looks around what either the front entrance to the junkyard, or a wire fence they can hop. ]

[Honestly, Mav would rather have nothing, in this particular instance. It's fine.]

Your hoodie enchanted, or something? I mean, I know you change how stuff looks, but where the hell would it all even go?

[There is a high metal fence Kano could climb, but Mav's just going to take the entrance, whistling and tapping his bat against his shoulder as he goes. It isn't long before he stops in front of a familiar vehicle, propping one foot on the front bumper and leaning in.]

Ahh, good ol' piece of shit. This thing's as fucking old as I am.

[ Before, it used to be a backpack that he'd throw things in and pretend he's filling up his pockets, but sometimes life gives him good hoarding-enabling things, and he contemplates telling Maverick about it at all. He doesn't like showing his hand unless necessary, but he was brought to this treasure trove of a junkyard, so just this once. ]

Tyzias called it a "bag of holding"~ That's what she gave me, and all I had to do was sew it into the inside of my pockets, and ta-da~!!

[ He jiggles the handle to the front door of the car, and peers inside the window to see if he's lucky enough that the steering wheel hasn't been a yet. ]

Infinite pockets!!!

[The steering wheel's a little picked apart for wiring and things, but in general? Yep, it's there. Being so old meant that there wasn't a lot of use for most of it.]

Seriously? Isn't that some...nerd thing? [Right??? Dungeons and Wizards Gathering on the Coast?

...still, he wants one. Fuck.] Can't be that hard to make, right...? That Tyzias chick is just a weird fucking student.

[ He wouldn't know how to rewire things, so that's all good with him. Getting the steering wheel out is another problem altogether. He digs around his pockets to try to find a screwdriver, but the downside to infinite pockets is that to retrieve anything, you have to feel around and pray. ]

Dunno how to make it or how it works, but it works~ She's weird, but super smart to do something like— ah! Here we go~

[ He pulls out a screwdriver!! ...and does not see a screw to unscrew. ]

I think she gave it to me 'cause she felt bad about almost killing me? Wish more people were like that...

[hmmm... He just doesn’t like Tyzias because Fuck That, he needs ordinary shit to feel safe...but a magical bag sounds worth it, maybe. Sort of. A little. With a hum of discontent, Mav unlinks a little multitool from his keyring and hands it over.]

That part’s a wrench, it should work. Might happen more often if you didn’t make it seem like a lot of the times you almost die, it’s your own damn fault.

[ Oh, what the hell? This multitool is way cooler than Tyzias' bag, and Maverick might not get it back after Kano's done unscrewing the steering wheel, unless he explicitly asks for it back. There's also the problem of how he's supposed to stick an entire steering wheel inside his pocket, but that's a problem he'll tackle later, and for now, he'll just clamp it under his arm once it's free. ]

What am I supposed to do, make it seem like somebody else's fault when I almost die? That's no good, that's no good~ Hey, Mav, which tool do I use to get this rear view mirror off?

[just ask for one!!! Mav would get him one for an early or late birthday present if he would only just...not steal it.]

If you want guilt presents out of them, yeah. And to be a super shitty person. [Let's see... He leans in, inspecting the mirror... Honestly, if he tried hard enough, he thinks he could get it off by hand...but that would be embarrassing if he failed.] The tip, maybe. Or, like. Fire.

...Or I could smash up all around it and then you could take it.

[ Hm, hmm~ Kano already believes himself to be a super shitty person— or, at least, he has the insight enough to acknowledge this, but has none of the motivation to do anything about it— but guilting presents out of people isn't really what he wants to do, because somehow, guilt is more serious and doesn't sit as well with him as more palatable things like blackmail. ]

If you smash it, it'll get all pokey... But better than setting everything on fire. Batter up!!

[Slim difference sometimes, Kano...

but all right all right all right all right, that's what he likes to hear!! He gives Kano a big grin and a thumbs up before retreating so that he can hop on top of the hood and take some test swings.]

The batter would highly suggest the crowd step out of the shatter zone for their own safety, but that's just him~

[He'll give Kano a second to decide, then brings the metal bat down in a chop close to where the rear view mirror is stuck onto the front windshield. It cracks, but car windows don't break that way??? Little chips of stuff are around, though, and it's definitely loose and weird around the mirror's base.]

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