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[Again...he expected this. Besides, the snacks are out now. That...helps. Barely.]

Mm, I'll get right on that, cricket... Am I really the only asshole that plays along with you, that you're so insistent about hanging with me?

[because like...why else would he]

Edited 2019-03-12 02:26 (UTC)

[ I'm staring at Kano's CR chart and yeah... there really is nobody else that Kano actively seeks out to play with. Nana invites him out to things sometimes, and Yuya is fun when they happen to run into each other, Toki... is Toki. Minako is happy and making friends and Kano absolutely refuses to get in the way of that. And now, Ellie is gone, so he's got to find somebody else to cling to. Sorry, Mav, you're being clung to. ]

That's how it is! Nobody else wants to play at three in the morning, so it's gotta be you!!

[That's so depressing... Like, he could do worse, but also please love yourself???]

"Wants to" is a hot fucking take, but I get what you mean. [Probably. But yeah, there's a difference between wanting and being willing. Got a bit more fuzzy these days, when it came to Kano...not that he's going to be telling him that.] Well, I can't sleep worth shit anyway, so I might as well be keeping you out of someone else's fucking hair and happy.

[ Kano loving himself would be him lounging around Maverick's room as a cat and living the good, no-obligations life; there is no loving himself as a person. ]

Are you still having trouble sleeping? I could help you with that? I've got two tried and true methods~

[ Method one involves just not sleeping until you've gone three days awake and then you start hallucinating and then you crash.

Method two involves a sledgehammer and I feel like I made this joke two years ago with Minato and it just goes to show that I really only play one character type and that's people with a terrible sense of humor. ]

[Maverick is very open to Kano loving himself through cathood tbh.]

Yeah, something tells me I won't rest any fucking easier after hearing these methods of yours. [He says it with a laugh, at least, before shaking his head.] It's just a thing that fucking happens, I'm used to it. Still doing good enough to put up with you on outings like this, huh?

Haha... You're talking like a first time father taking his toddler to the park despite being dead asleep on his feet. No wonder you're grouchy~ A thing that fucking happens doesn't mean it's good and you should accept it, you know?

[ He takes a couple huge lunges forward so he can spin around with enough distance in between them to be impressive. ]

So, it's decided! We're going to eat a lot of ice cream, and you're going to have a sugar crash!!! That's our plans for the rest of the day~

You basically are a fucking toddler.

[Concerning and loud basically all the time, with a need for attention, but...sometimes even the grumps can admit he's cute. Yep. Toddler is fitting.]

I don't really do sugar crashes. How about you sugar crash and I get wasted? That's a thing dads do, I can keep up his charade.

[ No........ the last time he had to babysit somebody who was drunk, Kano almost drowned him, he doesn't want to be responsible for Maverick's death. But if it's an alternative to ice cream-- ]

How 'bout something like a beer float? Like a root beer float, but without the root?

[ Would that taste good at all??? he has no idea. Maybe if it were something like vanilla ice cream and one of Yuya's fruity vodkas. ]

[The difference is that Maverick actually drinks and isn't an idiot.]

I mean, if I'm fucking forced to include ice cream, yeah, whatever, drown it in a crapload of stout.

Then that's what we'll do~ You've got to choke down at least two scoops before we go home, okay!?

[ Off he goes!! He won't know the best place to get ice cream, but he knows the cheapest, the place with the crunchiest waffle cone which is unarguably the best part about ice cream anyways, which he's going to crunch on plain while he makes Maverick pour beer over his. ]

[HE'S NOT GONNA POUR BEER INTO A CONE HE'D HAVE TO BE DRUNK ALREADY TO DO THAT]

Like scoop scoops or spoon scoops?

[ Kano will pour beer into Maverick's cone. ]

Like scoop scoops. You know, with the-

[ He opens and closes his hand, which is supposed to him using an ice cream scooper, the kind where you press the thing on the side and the scoop slides out, I don't know how to describe it. ]

[does he want it dumped on his head in retaliation........]

Uh...huh. [He gets it, it just looks silly.]

So I have to have the ice cream before the beer float? What's the fucking point...

No, it's like- have you never had a root beer float? You throw the ice cream in with the beer and let it melt and it gets all foamy! And then you eat the foam!!

[ The only part of the root beer float worth eating, the foam. ]

You eat the foam.

[JUST THE FOAM??? Just the foam...]

But okay, so the two scoops I have to choke down get to be the beer scoops, not just regular-ass scoops? I hate being sucked into the world in your head, it's so fucking confusing.

You eat the foam. That's created by two scoops of ice cream in beer.

[ He shakes his head and takes Maverick's wrist in his hand so he can run/march him to whatever store is the closest. ]

Don't worry about the logistics! I'll make it for you! I'm good at mixing drinks!

[aughhhh well, whatever. This is better than being steered by the shoulders.]

After last time? No thanks, I can handle it.

It wasn't that bad last time! Didn't you finish it?

[ He vaguely remembers asking/forcing Maverick to finish that awful drink, expecting him to dump it down the sink while he was in his room before meeting back up with him. ]

Yeah, I'm not a fucking coward. Of course I finished it. Doesn't mean I'm gonna subject myself to another one without good reason.

You drank that first one for no good reason.

I said "another," didn't I? Keep up.

[He felt...really bad that night, it wasn't like he could feel much worse.]

[ That's true, the drink couldn't make anything worse, I hope Kano fake-falling off the roof was the highlight of Maverick's night that night. ]

Haha, so you learned your lesson from the first one~ Too bad!! I would've put a lot more effort into it if I knew you'd only drink the one!

[Honestly, it was the pinkie promise before the drink that was the highlight. That or when Rex dropped half a snowman on him. That was pretty damn good.]

Aaand I said "without good reason." The real fucking thing I learned is that nothing is ever an impossibility when it fucking comes to you. I'm leaving the option open. Just not tonight, with this particular drink.

Haha... it took you long enough to learn that~

[ He'll make things happen and things will go his way, in the end, with the long game that he prefers to play. The short term just keep throwing a wrench into his plans, from the people he meet to the places they drag him out to- and this isn't an exception. How's he supposed to properly mope if Mav's taking him out to junkyards and buying him ice cream? Kano wasn't supposed to make friends in this school he never intended to make it to graduation in the first place, what a problem this has all become. ]

I guess I'll have to poison you some other day.

[Hey, Mav's with him on that one -- except for him, the only focus was the whole graduating thing. How dare this rugrat distract him from that, and make him actually consider the end of the world as something he could try to take part in preventing? It'd be nice...to graduate alongside Kano, he thinks. Though that means not catching up in his year.]

There you go, that's the spirit. Kinda fucks up your plan when you just straight-up tell me, though.

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