Wow, a whole 0.4%? Fuck me, I should just stop working and kick back, getting ready to soak in my riches.
[He claps him on the back playfully before crossing the bat in a bar across his shoulders and heading back towards where he left the backpack so they can get it and go.]
That's right, you should just quit your job! Then you'll have more time to play with me!! I'll support you into old age, so you don't have to worry about that at all!!
[ Rather than trotting off behind Maverick, Kano makes a beeline for the exit and just slows his pace enough for Mav to catch up after making the detour. No offer to help carry the backpack that holds mostly his goods... ]
[ I'm staring at Kano's CR chart and yeah... there really is nobody else that Kano actively seeks out to play with. Nana invites him out to things sometimes, and Yuya is fun when they happen to run into each other, Toki... is Toki. Minako is happy and making friends and Kano absolutely refuses to get in the way of that. And now, Ellie is gone, so he's got to find somebody else to cling to. Sorry, Mav, you're being clung to. ]
That's how it is! Nobody else wants to play at three in the morning, so it's gotta be you!!
[That's so depressing... Like, he could do worse, but also please love yourself???]
"Wants to" is a hot fucking take, but I get what you mean. [Probably. But yeah, there's a difference between wanting and being willing. Got a bit more fuzzy these days, when it came to Kano...not that he's going to be telling him that.] Well, I can't sleep worth shit anyway, so I might as well be keeping you out of someone else's fucking hair and happy.
[ Kano loving himself would be him lounging around Maverick's room as a cat and living the good, no-obligations life; there is no loving himself as a person. ]
Are you still having trouble sleeping? I could help you with that? I've got two tried and true methods~
[ Method one involves just not sleeping until you've gone three days awake and then you start hallucinating and then you crash.
Method two involves a sledgehammer and I feel like I made this joke two years ago with Minato and it just goes to show that I really only play one character type and that's people with a terrible sense of humor. ]
[Maverick is very open to Kano loving himself through cathood tbh.]
Yeah, something tells me I won't rest any fucking easier after hearing these methods of yours. [He says it with a laugh, at least, before shaking his head.] It's just a thing that fucking happens, I'm used to it. Still doing good enough to put up with you on outings like this, huh?
Haha... You're talking like a first time father taking his toddler to the park despite being dead asleep on his feet. No wonder you're grouchy~ A thing that fucking happens doesn't mean it's good and you should accept it, you know?
[ He takes a couple huge lunges forward so he can spin around with enough distance in between them to be impressive. ]
So, it's decided! We're going to eat a lot of ice cream, and you're going to have a sugar crash!!! That's our plans for the rest of the day~
[ No........ the last time he had to babysit somebody who was drunk, Kano almost drowned him, he doesn't want to be responsible for Maverick's death. But if it's an alternative to ice cream-- ]
How 'bout something like a beer float? Like a root beer float, but without the root?
[ Would that taste good at all??? he has no idea. Maybe if it were something like vanilla ice cream and one of Yuya's fruity vodkas. ]
Then that's what we'll do~ You've got to choke down at least two scoops before we go home, okay!?
[ Off he goes!! He won't know the best place to get ice cream, but he knows the cheapest, the place with the crunchiest waffle cone which is unarguably the best part about ice cream anyways, which he's going to crunch on plain while he makes Maverick pour beer over his. ]
[ He opens and closes his hand, which is supposed to him using an ice cream scooper, the kind where you press the thing on the side and the scoop slides out, I don't know how to describe it. ]
No, it's like- have you never had a root beer float? You throw the ice cream in with the beer and let it melt and it gets all foamy! And then you eat the foam!!
[ The only part of the root beer float worth eating, the foam. ]
But okay, so the two scoops I have to choke down get to be the beer scoops, not just regular-ass scoops? I hate being sucked into the world in your head, it's so fucking confusing.
It wasn't that bad last time! Didn't you finish it?
[ He vaguely remembers asking/forcing Maverick to finish that awful drink, expecting him to dump it down the sink while he was in his room before meeting back up with him. ]
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[ Almost half, but it's got to be an even number so he can keep it divisible by two. ]
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[He claps him on the back playfully before crossing the bat in a bar across his shoulders and heading back towards where he left the backpack so they can get it and go.]
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[ Rather than trotting off behind Maverick, Kano makes a beeline for the exit and just slows his pace enough for Mav to catch up after making the detour. No offer to help carry the backpack that holds mostly his goods... ]
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Mm, I'll get right on that, cricket... Am I really the only asshole that plays along with you, that you're so insistent about hanging with me?
[because like...why else would he]
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That's how it is! Nobody else wants to play at three in the morning, so it's gotta be you!!
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"Wants to" is a hot fucking take, but I get what you mean. [Probably. But yeah, there's a difference between wanting and being willing. Got a bit more fuzzy these days, when it came to Kano...not that he's going to be telling him that.] Well, I can't sleep worth shit anyway, so I might as well be keeping you out of someone else's fucking hair and happy.
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Are you still having trouble sleeping? I could help you with that? I've got two tried and true methods~
[ Method one involves just not sleeping until you've gone three days awake and then you start hallucinating and then you crash.
Method two involves a sledgehammer and I feel like I made this joke two years ago with Minato and it just goes to show that I really only play one character type and that's people with a terrible sense of humor. ]
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Yeah, something tells me I won't rest any fucking easier after hearing these methods of yours. [He says it with a laugh, at least, before shaking his head.] It's just a thing that fucking happens, I'm used to it. Still doing good enough to put up with you on outings like this, huh?
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[ He takes a couple huge lunges forward so he can spin around with enough distance in between them to be impressive. ]
So, it's decided! We're going to eat a lot of ice cream, and you're going to have a sugar crash!!! That's our plans for the rest of the day~
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[Concerning and loud basically all the time, with a need for attention, but...sometimes even the grumps can admit he's cute. Yep. Toddler is fitting.]
I don't really do sugar crashes. How about you sugar crash and I get wasted? That's a thing dads do, I can keep up his charade.
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How 'bout something like a beer float? Like a root beer float, but without the root?
[ Would that taste good at all??? he has no idea. Maybe if it were something like vanilla ice cream and one of Yuya's fruity vodkas. ]
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I mean, if I'm fucking forced to include ice cream, yeah, whatever, drown it in a crapload of stout.
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[ Off he goes!! He won't know the best place to get ice cream, but he knows the cheapest, the place with the crunchiest waffle cone which is unarguably the best part about ice cream anyways, which he's going to crunch on plain while he makes Maverick pour beer over his. ]
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Like scoop scoops or spoon scoops?
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Like scoop scoops. You know, with the-
[ He opens and closes his hand, which is supposed to him using an ice cream scooper, the kind where you press the thing on the side and the scoop slides out, I don't know how to describe it. ]
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Uh...huh. [He gets it, it just looks silly.]
So I have to have the ice cream before the beer float? What's the fucking point...
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[ The only part of the root beer float worth eating, the foam. ]
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[JUST THE FOAM??? Just the foam...]
But okay, so the two scoops I have to choke down get to be the beer scoops, not just regular-ass scoops? I hate being sucked into the world in your head, it's so fucking confusing.
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[ He shakes his head and takes Maverick's wrist in his hand so he can run/march him to whatever store is the closest. ]
Don't worry about the logistics! I'll make it for you! I'm good at mixing drinks!
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After last time? No thanks, I can handle it.
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[ He vaguely remembers asking/forcing Maverick to finish that awful drink, expecting him to dump it down the sink while he was in his room before meeting back up with him. ]
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[He felt...really bad that night, it wasn't like he could feel much worse.]
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Haha, so you learned your lesson from the first one~ Too bad!! I would've put a lot more effort into it if I knew you'd only drink the one!
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also I disco'd you unimportant stuff
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