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[That's one way of looking at it...and no need to worry about the bat. It's seen better days, but it's been through much worse than someone letting go of it by accident.

Maverick takes the bauble on automatic, but he just laughs at the suggestion.]

You think I'm gonna fucking trust you won't take my hand off? Smash my teeth in? Come on, cricket, you know I'm smarter than that.

Aw, I was so sure we've built up that level of trust! Have we really not?! I'm kinda hurt??

[ They have not and Kano wasn't expecting otherwise, but he could still hope. ]

But alright, alright, I can still use these. Help me gather up a bunch of them, okay? The round ones, that are still intact, these'll be fun to play with later~

You're like a fucking magpie, you know that?

[Easy enough task, though... Certainly less dangerous for everyone.]

Haha, they're birds of fortune, aren't they? ...Or are those the birds that like shiny things?

[ He does like shiny things. ]

But it'll be fun, alright? So free up another day for me sometime! I think you'll like it! Just gotta get some supplies from outside, and they'll be ready to play with~

Shiny things.

[Maybe fortune, he doesn't know. Birds aren't his area of expertise.]

Make it a weekday and you got a deal. Shouldn't take too many days off from work.

[ Kano doesn't know much about birds either, except that ibis are going to die, or something. ]

Deal~ Weekdays are fine too!! But weren't we just doing weekends 'cause you got class? Here I was trying to be respectful of that!

[ It doesn't matter to Kano since all his days are free no matter what, but this would be great, now he can bother Maverick 5/7 days of the week with no repercussions. ]

You fucking have class, too, jackass.

[Just because you don't go doesn't mean it doesn't exist!!!]

But since I actually fucking go and I'm smart enough to do the homework blind, I can cut now and again. It's getting boring going every fucking day anyway, makes me remember why I used to skip.

You've been going every day?? Three whole months of that?!

[ HOW...... How do you go to class when you can't even get up at 6 in the morning, when do you find time to do homework, how do you sit in a classroom for 50 minutes a day without wanting to craw out of your skin, teach him your secrets. ]

[Kano's been here for years... This school sucks.]

Most people do, you know.

Hmmm... Sounds fake.

[ It wasn't even this school; imagine getting kicked out of middle school because your attendance is so poor. Granted, his reasons for not going to class then and now are radically different, but he still can't imagine what it'd be like. Three years of this place, and it still feels more like a prison than a school. ]

There's more important things than school sometimes, you know~ [ Like hanging out with Kano! And if that's not convincing enough, ] I'm sure I can Google some sort of holiday we're supposed to be recognizing, hang on~

[He rolls his eyes, absently taking his bat and dragging it along a pile of junk as he ambles about. He knows...but...]

Sometimes people actually want to fucking try and graduate.

I'm going to assume the weekend without Ellie is on the 23rd, and Google's giving Kano some questionable things but also some delightful things. He shoves his phone in Maverick's face as an answer to what he thinks about school and graduation. ]

Look, it's diesel engine day! That's a car thing, right? So we're already ahead of the game~

[ He pulls his phone back, scrolls a little, stops. Looks at Maverick, looks at his bat, smiles. ]

...It's also World Sword Swallowers Day.

Edited 2019-03-06 01:49 (UTC)

[...Yeah, he probably wouldn't be taking himself too seriously right now, either, if he weren't...him.

Instead of thinking about all that, let's brighten up!! Sword swallowing, huh?]

I read about this sailor guy that swallowed a bunch of knives? Like all the knives aboard the ship. He just kept fucking do it, but then he still lived ten years.

[...it's iffy if Kano remembers hearing this already or not, but it was definitely part of a book read to a certain black cat.]

It's the kind of stupid I expect from you, honestly.

[ I can't believe I edited the tag and still didn't get it right. ]

I bet I can swallow a bunch of knives and still live~ How 'bout it? Come on, let's try~ Let me borrow your knife~!

[ Honestly he probably started zoning out the moment Maverick started talking about things up people's asses, but now he gets to learn it a second time. This knife guy is now his idol. ]

[rip]

No. Not just because I fucking promised I'd try to not get you killed, but because I don't want a shitknife, either. For the record, he died a slow and painful death.

Shit can be washed off knives!! Was he even able to shit them out, or were they all stuck in there stabbing him from the inside? How'd he die?

You're not getting my knife, stupid. But yeah, most of 'em, at first. Three outta four his first go. Got harder when he swallowed over thirty.

[DON'T SWALLOW A BUNCH OF KNIVES IT'S BAD]

That's the one that killed him, and even that took years. When they opened him up, everything looked all rusty, his colon got stabbed, his stomach fucking changed shape I guess? It had so many fucking knives in it. Wound up wasting away, his insides got fucked up so bad.

What I'm learning here is that as long as I limit myself to thirty knives, I'll be alright.

[ Sometimes, you just gotta smuggle knives places. But it's not much of a difference to him now that he's got his magic bag of too many things to actually find anything he needs from it, and he looks around the junkyard, satisfied with what he's got out of it. ]

...What's the present for, anyways? If it's just wanting to play, you don't have to go out of your way to take me places?

You're a danger to yourself and those around you.

[don't swallow knives!!!! Mav just wanted to share the cool facts about the weird dumb sailor, not encourage dumbass decisions...]

Hm? [...?] I mean, if I were you, I'd be bummed about fireball getting transferred, and want some new shit to do, but I guess I'm not you.

Huh~ Don't I look bummed?

[ He hopes not, because that's not how he wanted people to see him. "Bummed" as he is about Ellie leaving, he's insistent on dealing with it his own way, by himself. What good is him being bummed about it, anyways? when Ellie must be taking it a lot harder than he is, so what he really wants to do is make sure she feels that as little as possible. ]

I'm texting her lots, so she'll have no choice in forgetting about me~ You should too! I bet she'd be real happy to hear from you too~!

More the "new shit to do" part, dumbass.

[Hence the junkyard. But like...yeah, this attitude isn't helping any future defense Kano might mount against Mav thinking he's horrifically maladjusted from abuse, trauma, and depression.]

Uh, yeah, I don't think so? Pretty sure she fucking wants to see me dead. And spit on my corpse.

[Fireball's silly like that.]

Haha, what'd you do to her?

[ Surely it can't be as bad as dangling her out the window by the ankle? Hating people, yeah, Ellie has the capacity to hate with the force of a thousand suns, but it's not something Kano can relate much to- a hatred that's directed outwards, anyways- so it's a point of interest to him: why do people get mad, and how to exploit it. ]

But you know, Ellie calling you a motherfucker or chickenshit or whatever, those are endearing terms. Isn't it the same for you?

[ Dumbass, asshole, that sort of thing Mav does too, like he's allergic to using people's given names. ]

I called her halfpint and didn’t fucking bust her for jacking my phone.

[??????? Like, he did it in a Maverick way, but still]

I dunno, she fucking seemed mad for real, but I sure as hell don’t know her like you do, so whatever. Could just be her being young.

You should've busted her. Isn't she just mad 'cause you didn't play with her?

[ Beat each other senseless, somebody loses a tooth, and everybody's happier for it. When it comes to Ellie, at least, Kano is keenly aware that the very worst thing anybody can do to her is ignore her, so if Maverick was playing nice just because she's younger, that's a very good reason why Ellie would've gotten upset. ]

How the hell should I fucking know? [Anyway...] I'm eighteen, I can't just mess around with a kid however 'cuz I feel like it. I get in trouble for enough shit already.

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