suddenlybees | || IC INBOX

[ Yeah, what happened to that filter which was always barely there? This is getting mushy and gross and Kano also feels mushy and gross inside hearing that, ugh, he's smiling a real smile and that's no good, so he squashes that down immediately and flicks some more cookie crumbs at Yuya. ]

Yeah, it's the same for me~ Sometimes, I think I'd be dead without you, you know? You being here really saved my life~

[Yuya will only wish Kano was the most embarrassing thing that day.

But he's really happy to hear that. He grins wider as it sinks in, warm and a little red in the face. Him being here saved Kano's life. He could do something for him.]

I'm glad... I'm really glad! [He reaches for Kano's hands, trying to hold them and give them one firm squeeze.] You got another chance, and I want to make it worth it to you. I don't want you to ever be alone.

[ No..... he wants to run away but his hands are trapped. ]

Heh... There's no way I'll ever be alone, right? Too many people in the school~ Aah, but once summer breaks comes, and everybody clears off campus! Then I'll be able to have some more breathing room~ Summer can't come fast enough!

That's not what I mean. [Of course they're surrounded by strangers, or only passing friends.]

I mean you matter. A lot! So I want you to stay, but it's selfish to ask that without giving you anything. So I want to make it worth it.

[Well, not just him because he's sure others, like Nana and Ellie, also treasure Kano and want him to exist. He just can't speak for them directly right now.] Really worth it, so you don't want to stop existing or--think that's really better. Because it's not!

[ Ah... They're coming back to that, are they? Not wanting to exist, a feeling that's been deeply seated for so many years, that he can't just shake off and forget about because one person- or two or three or ten- say that his life is worth living. It's very hard to start thinking that all of a sudden. ]

Hm... There is something you can give me, in exchange for me staying.

What is it? [Yuya perks up. Bargaining wasn't what he meant but it's something, it's a start, also he's extremely easy to walk all over and has largely been protected by Nana and Gon being too good to take advantage of him.]

[ Ohh, he took the bait. ]

I'm looking for a recoiless rifle, but I'm having a bit of trouble getting my hands on one of them. Won't you help me out?

... A what? [Yuya stares blankly, obviously having no visual clue to what that is. He's never fired a gun.] That's some kind of gun?

[Or are they calling something else rifles, he doesn't know.]

Yep, that's right!

[ It's some kind of gun. Just the thing he'd want Kano of all people to get his hands on, right? ]

You know how to fire a gun? [Yuya tilts his head sideways, brow furrowing.] Why do you need one?

Well, yeah, a gun's just sort of like.... [ He fashions his hands into double pistols, not at all how you hold and shoot a rifle, and goes ] pew pew!

[ before dropping his hands and shoving them into his pockets. ]

I don't need one. But I'd like one, and if I had one, it'd encourage me to stay?

[... It's a joke, isn't it. Yuya's expression twists into a crooked smile.] But there's a reason you haven't just asked the people at the Anvil to make you one, right...?

[Probably because they'd say no, no, absolutely not. He shakes his head.] I'll try, if that's really what'll take to make you stay.

[Or rather, he'll disappear from mortification the next day and maybe when he remembers later, he'll give Kano a printed picture of a rifle.]

'cause they'd say no, right?

[ Obviously they'd say no, and he doesn't have a concrete reason to convince them with, unlike with Yuya where he can make up some bs and hope his friend will follow through.

Anyways, if Yuya remembers later and gives Kano a picture of a rifle, he will look YUya dead in the eye and walk out of the room and disappear off the grid and be unreachable by phone for three days. It's only sort of a joke!!!! He was still hopeful. ]

[Kano would end up shooting either Yuya or Toki, he doesn't need a gun.] If they thought you shouldn't have one, I guess. But there'd be a reason for that.

[He sticks out his tongue before reaching for another cookie.] I thought you said before you didn't want to learn to fight?

[ Probably Toki, yeah... He gets to live another day. ]

That's right. I have no intentions of fighting~ Not directly, anyways! That, I'm leaving up to you!

... What else would you use a gun for? [Can he even come up with a good excuse.

Or the truth.]

[ Nah ]

I'm not going to use it. I just want one?

Okay, but why? [Mr. Have A Reason For Everything.]

Isn't wanting something the best reason to want it...?

[ I want it because I want it, aka I'm not telling you the Reason. ]

Yeah... but a gun's kind of weird to want just beecause, since you hate fighting and you don't want to use it.

Yuya... Aren't there things you hate and don't want to do, but you do them anyways?

Yeah. I hate fighting too, but I doing it. [He points at Kano.] But you just said you weren't going to! What else is a gun good for except killing people?

They're good for lots of things~! Use your imagination a little, Yu~ya!

[ He waves his hand, as if that's enough to dispel all of Yuya's worries. Kano is suspicious and troublesome, he knows, but has he ever given off the impression that he means to put people in danger on purpose? It's usually just a side effect. Or something. ]

How 'bout this? I can promise you that nobody is expected to die with the intended use of this rifle you're going to get me or else I have nothing else to live for and might walk off a cliff tomorrow rifle-less.

D-don't joke about that! [Yuya starts, voice suddenly shrill with distress. Kano death jokes aren't funny anymore.] That means you, too, I don't want you hurt either!

[ He knows they're terrible and that's why he said it. Yuya has the power to save his life, and he knows that's something Yuya doesn't take lightly, either. ]

Haha, don't worry about me! I'll be su~per careful, like I always am? I know what I'm doing, Yuya! Trust me!!

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