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... What else would you use a gun for? [Can he even come up with a good excuse.

Or the truth.]

[ Nah ]

I'm not going to use it. I just want one?

Okay, but why? [Mr. Have A Reason For Everything.]

Isn't wanting something the best reason to want it...?

[ I want it because I want it, aka I'm not telling you the Reason. ]

Yeah... but a gun's kind of weird to want just beecause, since you hate fighting and you don't want to use it.

Yuya... Aren't there things you hate and don't want to do, but you do them anyways?

Yeah. I hate fighting too, but I doing it. [He points at Kano.] But you just said you weren't going to! What else is a gun good for except killing people?

They're good for lots of things~! Use your imagination a little, Yu~ya!

[ He waves his hand, as if that's enough to dispel all of Yuya's worries. Kano is suspicious and troublesome, he knows, but has he ever given off the impression that he means to put people in danger on purpose? It's usually just a side effect. Or something. ]

How 'bout this? I can promise you that nobody is expected to die with the intended use of this rifle you're going to get me or else I have nothing else to live for and might walk off a cliff tomorrow rifle-less.

D-don't joke about that! [Yuya starts, voice suddenly shrill with distress. Kano death jokes aren't funny anymore.] That means you, too, I don't want you hurt either!

[ He knows they're terrible and that's why he said it. Yuya has the power to save his life, and he knows that's something Yuya doesn't take lightly, either. ]

Haha, don't worry about me! I'll be su~per careful, like I always am? I know what I'm doing, Yuya! Trust me!!

You won't trust me enough to tell me what it is. [Yuya chews on his lip, shrinking back a little in uncertainty.] Are you... serious about needing a gun?

[Does he really have to get Kano one, will Kano seriously hurt himself if he doesn't get one? It felt like a joke and now he doesn't know.]

[ The longer somebody talks with Kano, the less sure jokes become. Despite his better judgement, he does it on purpose, leaning back a little with a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes. ]

I'm serious~ And it's nothing to do with you, or with trust! Or the lack of! I just like keeping things secret until the very end, 'cause then I can surprise everybody~ You know how that is, right? It's no good if I leak spoilers~

[It doesn't sit well when he's asking for a weapon. And lots of people here have them, sure, Yuya basically has a dragon. But Kano being cagey with that smile is unsettling when he's claimed he's not picking up the same cause.

Yuya runs his hands through his hair, digging his fingers into his scalp and pulling against it.] You won't really hurt yourself if I can't?

[ Trust is something that goes both ways, but Kano knows he's in no position to ask Yuya to trust him with anything— he would rather he didn't, he would rather Yuya question things and make a stand, but it's really unfortunate that Yuya cares more about Kano's safety and well-being than the safety and well-being of everybody else. ]

...I won't. But it's still something I would like, if at all possible. If not, I'll find some other way around it, so no worries, Yu~ya! I won't be too disappointed!

... Okay. [He wants to trust Kano to really be a good person. To be right in the way he sees Kano do things for the sake of others, how attentive he is. His worry isn't that Kano is going to hurt anyone else because he's never seen him do it on purpose. But he is afraid of what Kano might do to himself when he doesn't see anything of value lost.

The tightness in Yuya's chest eases when he's no longer responsible for keeping Kano from killing himself, catching a breath before he hides his face in his hands and keeps it there. The worst joke.] O-okay. I'll see what they tell me.

[He'll try. Kano can always draw the line, or he can draw it out.]

[ ...Yuya really is a good boy, Kano thinks to himself. A good friend. How unfortunate it is, to be a good friend to somebody like Kano, who reaches over when Yuya covers his face and pats him on the head. ]

Do your best~ But don't worry, alright? You're absolved from all consequences, no matter what happens!

[ Which is the biggest reason he doesn't tell anybody anything. If things go wrong, it'll be all on Kano; Yuya is just helping out a friend, and without any more information to go on, he can't be blamed for being an accomplice.

And if Yuya pulls through, Kano can put the next phase of the plan into motion, and he'd really like to get this completed within the next two months, even if it kills him. That's the game plan, in the end. ]

[Kano will have bigger questions to answer when Yuya finds out he's the one who gets him killed at the end of the month.]

Sorry. [Yuya doesn't pull his head up, but he thinks he should probably apologize for getting weepy or not being reliable or something. He just wants to do good by his friends, he's never completely felt worthy of them, Gongenzaka and Nana especially. Kano, at least, is a friend that feels less out of reach. Closer to being as clumsy as he is, and that's a comfort he doesn't want...]

Sorry, I just... I was really scared when you disappeared like that.

Edited 2019-05-12 02:57 (UTC)

[ He lets his hand slow and then stop, resting on Yuya's head without moving it. It wasn't supposed to have happened like that, disappearing but not completely-- he was supposed to have not existed, he was supposed to have never existed and therefore there would be nothing to miss and be scared of. After a lifetime of being pushed away, people suddenly starting to care just because he disappeared or died or whatever, it just feels so cheap, like he can't believe in that at all. ]

That's nothing to be sorry for, right? It wasn't your fault or anything, so I won't hear any apologies from you, Yu~ya. Optimism is a good thing to have, so hang onto that~

[Sitting here crying doesn't feel very optimistic of him. Hang on, hang on...

He wipes his eyes, looking up at Kano.] I meant... sorry for this.

[Making Kano justify himself and then crying about it, like he can't trust him for two minutes that he won't just off himself. Keeps talking about it instead of proving his own words.

He shakes his head, sucking in a deep breath and then pulling his cheeks into a grin into he can hold the smile up properly. It looks less fake, anyway.]

[ Hm...

Kano lowers his hand and raises his other, to place them on either side of Yuya's face and squash his cheeks. ]

I said it already, right? Nothing is your fault, so I won't hear any apologies from you~

Mmph--[Yuya pouts as his cheeks are squished, resulting in some sort of funny fish face.]

[ Squish squish squish, Kano does not relent. ]

Next time you say sorry, this is what's coming to you!! It's a forbidden word, okay?!

Pffff. And what if I mess up and I really have to say sorry?

Looks like you'll just have to not mess up ever again~

... That's impossible. [Yuya sinks a little, his smile this time not reaching the pain that catches in his eyes as they scrunch.] I'm always going to mess up. I don't mean to...

[He's just kind of useless. Stupid, makes the wrong decision and people always suffer for it.] If I only mess up enough that I can actually fix it with sorry, I'd be happy.

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