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... Okay. [He wants to trust Kano to really be a good person. To be right in the way he sees Kano do things for the sake of others, how attentive he is. His worry isn't that Kano is going to hurt anyone else because he's never seen him do it on purpose. But he is afraid of what Kano might do to himself when he doesn't see anything of value lost.

The tightness in Yuya's chest eases when he's no longer responsible for keeping Kano from killing himself, catching a breath before he hides his face in his hands and keeps it there. The worst joke.] O-okay. I'll see what they tell me.

[He'll try. Kano can always draw the line, or he can draw it out.]

[ ...Yuya really is a good boy, Kano thinks to himself. A good friend. How unfortunate it is, to be a good friend to somebody like Kano, who reaches over when Yuya covers his face and pats him on the head. ]

Do your best~ But don't worry, alright? You're absolved from all consequences, no matter what happens!

[ Which is the biggest reason he doesn't tell anybody anything. If things go wrong, it'll be all on Kano; Yuya is just helping out a friend, and without any more information to go on, he can't be blamed for being an accomplice.

And if Yuya pulls through, Kano can put the next phase of the plan into motion, and he'd really like to get this completed within the next two months, even if it kills him. That's the game plan, in the end. ]

[Kano will have bigger questions to answer when Yuya finds out he's the one who gets him killed at the end of the month.]

Sorry. [Yuya doesn't pull his head up, but he thinks he should probably apologize for getting weepy or not being reliable or something. He just wants to do good by his friends, he's never completely felt worthy of them, Gongenzaka and Nana especially. Kano, at least, is a friend that feels less out of reach. Closer to being as clumsy as he is, and that's a comfort he doesn't want...]

Sorry, I just... I was really scared when you disappeared like that.

Edited 2019-05-12 02:57 (UTC)

[ He lets his hand slow and then stop, resting on Yuya's head without moving it. It wasn't supposed to have happened like that, disappearing but not completely-- he was supposed to have not existed, he was supposed to have never existed and therefore there would be nothing to miss and be scared of. After a lifetime of being pushed away, people suddenly starting to care just because he disappeared or died or whatever, it just feels so cheap, like he can't believe in that at all. ]

That's nothing to be sorry for, right? It wasn't your fault or anything, so I won't hear any apologies from you, Yu~ya. Optimism is a good thing to have, so hang onto that~

[Sitting here crying doesn't feel very optimistic of him. Hang on, hang on...

He wipes his eyes, looking up at Kano.] I meant... sorry for this.

[Making Kano justify himself and then crying about it, like he can't trust him for two minutes that he won't just off himself. Keeps talking about it instead of proving his own words.

He shakes his head, sucking in a deep breath and then pulling his cheeks into a grin into he can hold the smile up properly. It looks less fake, anyway.]

[ Hm...

Kano lowers his hand and raises his other, to place them on either side of Yuya's face and squash his cheeks. ]

I said it already, right? Nothing is your fault, so I won't hear any apologies from you~

Mmph--[Yuya pouts as his cheeks are squished, resulting in some sort of funny fish face.]

[ Squish squish squish, Kano does not relent. ]

Next time you say sorry, this is what's coming to you!! It's a forbidden word, okay?!

Pffff. And what if I mess up and I really have to say sorry?

Looks like you'll just have to not mess up ever again~

... That's impossible. [Yuya sinks a little, his smile this time not reaching the pain that catches in his eyes as they scrunch.] I'm always going to mess up. I don't mean to...

[He's just kind of useless. Stupid, makes the wrong decision and people always suffer for it.] If I only mess up enough that I can actually fix it with sorry, I'd be happy.

[ Those are familiar words, about always messing up despite trying his best, never being good enough, never being smart enough, never being enough and messing things up for everybody around him. They were all-consuming thoughts when he was little, when he needed to be good and smart and enough for his mother, but now that she's been gone for so many years...

Kano sits back and dumps the rest of the cookie crumbs out of the empty box, then hands it to Yuya. ]

I've got relevant advice I'd like to share, but I'm going to need you to do something for me first~ Are you up to it?

[No, the cookies... Yuya gapes as they're dumped on the ground, the box thrust into limp hands. Odd-Eyes mobilizes from where he's been laying and watching, and in a second his neck is stretched as he gobbles the dumped cookies up immediately. They're on the floor, they're his.] H-hey! You don't even need to eat...

[He pout, before slowly looking back at Kano.] Uh--what is it?

[ Yuya could have eaten the cookies too, if he believes in the five second rule. Kano is ready to move onto the next phase of this picnic, though, which is ]

Help me collect all the fallen flowers in this box! We're going to fill it to the brim~

... Okay. [He picks a couple straight off the ground and puts them in the box. Then he looks up.

He sets the box down and stands, walking to the trunk of the magnolia tree and circling it before grabbing the thickest branch and hauling himself up.

He picks the flowers right at the connecting point so the petals stay together, and lets them float to the ground.]

H-hey! Yuya!

[ COME DOWN RIGHT NOW, MISTER ]

The fallen ones are fine!! There's plenty on the ground— it's fine if they're trampled and stuff, they don't need to look pretty!

Huh? [Yuya grabs the branch firmly and tips backwards so he's hanging upside down to look at Kano.] But I'm already up here... we'll fill it faster if you focus on the ground and I get the tree!

[Nevermind he's, you know, messing up the tree. It's fine, it's just enough to fill a small cardboard box.]

[ Kano steps over to the tree and places his foot up on the trunk like he's strong enough to kick it over. He gives it a little shake, just enough to get the leaves to rustle but not knock Yuya out of it. ]

That's not the point! Get me dirty, torn-up, ground flowers or no deal!!

[Yuya rolls his eyes, but he flips himself over and slides out of the tree feet first.] I'll get you the most squished flower I can find.

[Which given they were sitting on a bunch, and Odd-Eyes was, isn't hard. So Yuya starts gathering the flowers on the floor instead, filling the box with Kano.]

Awesome, you're the best, Yu~ya.

[ Squished flowers are fine... Really, presentation has nothing to do with why he wants a box full of flowers, so this works out. The more squished they are, the more they can pack into the tiny cookie box anyways, it's a win-win. ]

[The first couple minutes are silence, as Odd-Eyes joins in gently picking up flowers between his claws and dropping them in the box. Yuya smiles a little to himself, but he doesn't admit to asking for help.

As the box gets closer to filling up, he looks up at Kano and raises an eyebrow.] So you have relevant advice?

[ As the box gets closer to filling up, Kano lets Yuya and Odd-Eyes do all the work, because he's old and bending up and down makes his knees hurt. ]

Mm, that's right. Look at me— do you ever see me apologize for anything?

[ He's the one person who maybe should, to multiple people, for multiple occasions. But apologies...? ]

[Yuya pauses the box filling to look up at Kano. Does he ever see him apologize?

Yuya tilts his head, furrowing his brow as he tries to remember a specific incident.] Well, you haven't done anything to me you need to apologize for. But if you did it to someone else, I assumed you would?

[Like, why would he not say sorry if he messed up at hurt someone. That's grade school stuff.]

Haha... That's where you're wrong, isn't it? I've done lots of stuff to you I need to apologize for, but I haven't! But for some reason, you aren't mad at me. Now, why do you think that is?

[ Why is Toki still his friend? Why is Maverick? Imelda? Lots of people he'd wronged more than once in the past, never apologized for his misdeeds, and somehow, they still care for him. Because they're good people? Maybe. ]

Uh. [Yuya raises a brow.] Obviously because I don't think you've done anything you need to apologize for.

[A pause, and then he points.] To me, but if you hurt Nana's feelings with that stunt of yours at the ball then you better have apologized to her.

[Did she find out?? Yuya has no idea. He's not going to ask her about it, though.] Did I look mad about something before? I mean, really upset.

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