suddenlybees | || IC INBOX

[Toki doesn't really take much notice that they're on the floor now. He's too busy crying.]

I'm sorry I said that I wanted you back because you really didn't want to be here, did you!? And Shuuya did and I couldn't help him stay and it's not fair! If he's still in there, if you remember that, just- I'm so sorry I couldn't take you home!

[ This is a very different experience than what he'd expected to hear come out of Toki's mouth, apologizing for Kano being here when that's what Kano kept buried so deep and for so long. He remembers, but only bits and pieces— feelings more than words, longing and fear and excitement and happiness, little wisps of emotion and memory that fills in the blanks more easily than it probably does anybody else, because there are no competing memories from the time Kano existed in a void.

He doesn't want to be here, but he's stuck here anyways. Shuuya wanted to be here, but he couldn't stay— he wanted to go home, but he couldn't do that either. The kid really did get the short end of the stick here, a miserable existence.

A bad idea starts to form, but maybe it'll be a good one. He can never tell. ]

Hey, hey, it's okay... I dunno if I'm the one you should be apologizing to, 'cause it's not like you did anything to me. Do you want to talk to him? That kid?

[The absurdity of the question gets him to stop crying. Though, maybe it's not that far-fetched.]

Can I!? Is he like in there, like you exist as separate people!? Was that supposed to happen!?

[In the end, he still doesn't understand everything that happened. As far as Toki could tell, the fey didn't even understand what they were doing. It was all just a big mess of stray wishes given form.]

[ That's not what he meant at all but the thought makes him laugh anyways, the absurdity of it all and the immediately inclination to take the idea and run with it. ]

That's right, he's in here~! Like, hmm, what's that book? Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Hyde?

[ One of them was a doctor, but he can't remember which one. They're the same person? They're both doctors. ]

Edited 2019-05-02 01:17 (UTC)

I don't read much!

[He never reads for fun. He's never read a novel that didn't require a book report, and half of those didn't get read either.]

But Shuuya's there!? I- I don't know if I really want to talk to him, though, because he hated me to begin with and then I couldn't help and now he's stuck here and it's probably horrible and he never wants to talk to me again!

[ Kano's never read the actual book, but he knows the story, sort of, through osmosis. Lots of things can be learned through osmosis; sitting around listening to people is the sparknotes of life. ]

Haha, did he really hate you? How surprising~! I wonder if I should just let him loose, so he can yell at you? This sort of stuff you shouldn't keep bottled up inside, right?

He thought I was going to kill him! At first!

[He's not really sure what Shuuya thinks of him.]

D-does he want to yell at me?

[ That's hilarious, because he does remember going into the room with Toki and terrifying Shuuya, he probably would have thought the same thing. ]

I dunno! Want to find out?

[Does he? If he says no, it will be some thing in the back of his mind forever, wondering about it. He has to know.]

Yes!

Great~!! Then, let's do that! You gotta help me out, okay, Toki? First things first, a cup of chocolate milk! The kind that's cold! Can you get me one of those?

[ This is relevant, he promises

his promises mean shit, but anyways. ]

I guess?

[He shrugs and runs off to find cold chocolate milk somewhere. The Grand Hall probably has some. He expects the door to be locked when he gets back and Kano not to open it. There's still one part of him that trusts Kano, though, so he goes anyway.]

[ Toki has way too much trust in him. When he gets back, the door is closed. But it's unlocked, and the door opens to Shuuya sitting on top of the desk, ankles crossed and legs swinging idly over the edge. ]

Hi, Nii-chan!

[ Talking in a little kid voice is a pain, but his auditory illusion is convincing enough without very much effort. Toki gets some closer, Kano gets chocolate milk, it'll work out. ]

[Toki returns with chocolate milk, dropping the bottle to the floor upon Shuuya's greeting. He wasn't really expecting this. He picks the bottle up, its contents now all bubbly and frothy, and hands it to Shuuya.]

A-are- is it okay!? With Kano!? Is it okay to exist just this much?

[Everything about Shuuya's "existence" continues to confuse him, but wants to know that in the end, if he's not happy, he's at least content. That he's not sad.]

[ He half jerks forward off the desk to catch the bottle, but reflexively acting doesn't mean physically being able to react fast enough to do anything about it. At least it doesn't break, or he would have had to pretend to cry. ]

Mm, just this much, it's okay! 'cause I get to sleep as long as I want, and if I want to— oh! If you see Héctor later, tell him he's right!

Okay. But if it's ever not enough anymore, tell me. I'll find a way to fix it.

[He's satisfied for now, and it stops him from telling Kano was he was going to. Not if Shuuya's still around.]

I'll tell Héctor~!

[Héctor... might be a problem. After their only real conversation, Toki's pretty sure the man thinks he's some degree of psychologically disturbed. He wasn't planning on talking to Héctor again for a very long time, but now he has to.]

I want to tell you that I'm sorry it worked out like this, Shuuya! Everyone tried their best for you! It just... wasn't enough.

[ It's some dangerous power, the way Toki promises to do whatever Shuuya wants, and if Shuuya were actually Shuuya and not Kano, it wouldn't be so dangerous. He could do so much with this... if he could stop the burning in his chest at the memory of everybody trying their best for him, because he remembers that. How could he not remember that? Taking care of him, and playing with him, and even now Toki is getting him chocolate milk just because Kano asked, without question. ]

It's enough... You did everything you could, right? So that's enough. I'm here, aren't I? I got to see you again, so isn't that enough?

[Toki smiles, but he feels like crying. He's not sure why.]

It's enough. I'm glad I got to see you again! I have go now, though! Enjoy your choc-

[Horrible timing... Darkness. Laughter, low and from every direction. The eyes open, spiral irises rotating in a hypnotic rhythm.Painful bright light piercing through from the pupils. Everything's white. It fades to a reflective surface like mist dissipating. A mirror. The eyes are his. Both of them... Toki screams and abandons any thoughts of Shuuya to run into the bathroom and check to make sure his eyes aren't all daemony.]

[ The chocolate milk clatters to the floor again as Shuuya runs after Toki, because 1) watching him have a vision will never not be terrifying, and 2) doesn't Toki know that the most dangerous place in a house is the bathroom?? ]

To— Nii-chan!! Hey!

[The mirror reveals his eyes are fine. He examines the red one more closely, just in case. Okay. Crisis averted; somewhat. He grips the edge of the sink too hard and tries to breathe deeply.]

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

[He can feel it watching, and it's very tempting to slide the curtain open in the shower just to make sure the daemon's not in there. It's a ridiculous and panicked thought. Shuuya's there. He can't completely lose it in front of this kid.]

It's okay. Just go back and drink your milk.

[Which may be leaking out all over the floor, but whatever.]

[ "Go back and drink your milk" might be the single most condescending thing Kano's ever heard in his life, before he remembers that he's Shuuya and a kid and yeah. That's right. He's Shuuya and not Kano right now, so that means he can flip the lid closed on the toilet and stand on top of it, making himself a bit taller and able to stare Toki eye to eye. ]

Does it hurt? There's a trick to getting rid of pain... Gimme your hand.

No, it's- not much?

[Does it hurt? He can't tell if he still gets migraines with the visions; if he does, they never go away after and it's a new baseline. Who knows? So many things got messed up with the orichalcum. Does panic count as pain? That constricting feeling in his chest, like the beginnings of a heart attack?

He doesn't think it's going to make any difference, but Shuuya wants to help somehow. Toki holds out his hand.]

[ Not much is still something, and not much is just about what he can do too- he doesn't understand enough to heal very well, but pain and numbness are things Kano has an intimate grasp on.

He presses his hand to Toki's palm to palm, then shifts to lace their fingers and squeeze gently. ]

Alright. Now, count down from three, and scream as loud as you can.

[ Whereupon he will do his best to make his numbing fey magic work. ]

Edited 2019-05-03 20:20 (UTC)

What!? How is that going to do anything!? Is it left over fey magic from Wist!?

[Then he thinks about for a minute. It's technically Kano's body, Kano's existence and Shuuya is just part of it. So, he should have access to what the giraffe gave Kano.]

Do you really want me to scream?

[The entire building will hear that if he actually tries to be loud.]

[ Maybe screaming is a bad idea. There are guards outside the room, after all, who could kick it down like a paper sheet even with it bolted shut. ]

Yeah. Sometimes you feel better when you scream?

[ Better than keeping everything bottled up inside, anyways. Sometimes a good scream helps. ]

[The guards might do just that, thinking someone's being murdered.]

That's true. Okay.

[Toki attempts the loudest scream he can. It may burst Kano's eardrums, and will most certainly alert the guards.]

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