suddenlybees | || IC INBOX

[Sorry, kiddo. No more scab there. It's gone, along with the cuts, even though Mav didn't know a thing about it when he kissed Tsubomi's perfect little fingers.]

You're not making me choose because there's not a fucking choice to be made. He's fun, and beautiful, and he just... I dunno. But it isn't the same. You're my best fucking friend, cricket. You say you're happy for me, but if that were true, I wouldn't be so goddamn miserable trying to make you happy, too. Make you actually stay in my fucking life, where I want you, but you keep pushing me away and saying that's not what you want. How the fuck can I possibly fucking be happy with that?

[ No... the only fun part about getting hurt is picking scabs and poking bruises... He has to settle for rubbing the dirt off his pants instead, fingertips staining black instead of the usual bright red. ]

That's your problem. [ It comes out curter than he'd wanted, even if it were mumbled into the fabric over his knees. ] Your idea of happpiness and mine are different. I just want... It'd be nice if you could be happy, if you could go around laughing and playing with all your friends and just be safe. That's enough to make me happy. You don't need to do anything for me, and it's worse when I'm there. Don't you see?

[ If happiness is to exist, Kano can't be part of that equation. There's no way Maverick, or Yuya or Nana or Ellie or anybody can make him happy, not when Nightfall is a thing, not when this school exists. ]

[He laughs once, humorlessly, even though he's barely over feeling stunned by that pushback.]

That's a really fucked up world you've dreamed up there, you know. I gotta laugh and play with all my friends except the one I wanna play with the most? Find a different way to fucking be happy, because that ain't happening.

Haha... Is it impossible? If I were to leave, can't you just curse my existence and move on?

[ Or would he cling to that memory of friendship forever, the same way Yuya clung to Kano's friendship, the same way Kano clung to the memory of his mother long after she had passed, the way he clings onto Ellie now uses their relationship as a basis for excuse. ]

We tried that already. I wound up getting a Contract trying to get shit fixed, remember?

[Yeah. It's impossible.]

There's only ever been two fucking people I'd do that shit for, and so fucking what that you didn't ask... I needed to. You wanna give people what they want, then fucking be here, because I don't fucking wanna figure shit out without you.

[ That sounds like a Maverick problem, tbh. ]

......Hey, Mav. You hate it when I screw with you, right? When I talk in circles and dodge questions and play pretend, and that sorta stuff?

[wow, he doesn't like where this is going.]

...When I'm not fucking kidding around with you. Yeah.

[ haha, don't be so suspicious ]

It's mean, isn't it? I make you doubt, and you can't trust me at all, and it's exhausting having to figure things out, isn't it?

[That honestly doesn't deserve or warrant an answer, so Maverick just turns his eyes onto Kano fully. Make your dumbass point and get it over with.]

"It ain't healthy for him to be around you. He's super fucked up, and even if you make him forget about how shit things are sometimes, the rest of the time you aren't helping."

Why do you agree with this when it's Toki, but not with you?

[ Maverick obviously believes it's in Toki's best interest if Kano were to stay away; that's why he agreed to pass along the message. He believes that Kano is poison to everybody around him, that the best thing for others is to stay away. So he can't be blind to the fact that Kano is a poison to him to. ]

[He's supposed to hit Kano when he's mad, huh? So he has full permission to punch him hard in the shoulder now, even if it makes the old man next to him stir for a moment before deciding the waking world still isn't worth it and he goes back to snoring. To make up for the motion required, he lowers his voice to a hiss, even if he's pretty sure...none of that really matters, at this point?]

Because I'm not the one being led into traffic, or giving in when someone fucking suggests something else, even if I don't agree with it! I'm not the one that fucking tries to rip my fucking eye out because I decide a goddamn daemon lives in there! I have common fucking sense! You stupid bastard, that's nowhere near the same thing!

[HE'S LESS OF A DISASTER THAN TOKI, COME ON]

[ Kano grits his teeth when he's punched, but all it does is turn that sneer on his face into a grimace. Because yeah, that's all his fault, isn't it? Endangering Toki's life because he didn't know how else to convince Toki not to run away to live in New York other than to knock him out and drag him back. Always bringing up more and more ridiculous things to Toki, trying to push and find that line that surely even Toki has, that Toki would be able to stop and realize things aren't right. Even ripping his eye out because of a daemon- it was Kano that'd brought it up in the first place, talking about the way Michael can see through his eyes and maybe Toki is the same? Absolutely nothing good has come out of any time he's spoken with Toki, but that's not Toki's fault. It's his. ]

Who is the one sitting on an airplane to Canada right now?

[ Maverick has more common sense than most people in the school put together, but he is still somebody who led out of the country, who flew Kano to Canada even if he didn't agree with it, who gained a Contract and a tattoo for the sake of this person sitting beside him that is no good to him at all. ]

[That's something they see differently -- he agreed with flying Kano to Canada. He agreed with taking Kano anywhere he could. He agreed with giving him the environment he needed to feel safe enough he could take a minute to process everything, and Maverick would be there making sure everything stayed safe, and Kano would see that even though Toki needed to not see him anymore, it didn't mean everyone else was going to leave, too. He could see that Maverick...wasn't ever going to leave him, he thinks.]

I'm where I wanna be, fuckhead. Next to who I wanna be with.

[ He's stubborn, and that hurts just as much as it warms Kano's heart, because logically, realistically, objectively, this is Kano manipulating Maverick to take him out all the time and to play with him and eat out with him, knowing that Maverick hates being thought of as a source of free handouts but he still does so damn much for Kano's sake, that he hates hates hates it. ]

You're so stupid, Mav. That's what Toki used to think too. I'm going to be the death of you someday, and you've got nobody to blame but yourself.

[This time when he whips his hand over, it's to clap Kano on the shoulder.]

Great. So quit trying to fucking take credit before it even fucking happens. Ain't your fault if I ignore your warning because I like you as much as I do.

[ His shoulders jolt at the contact, and he wishes it would stop doing that even when he sees the hand coming and expects it and it doesn't even hurt. ]

Dummy. You have bad taste in friends, Mav, I'm telling you right now. And-

[ He leans out into the aisle to peer down it. Where is the drink trolley... he also left his chocolate milk up there on the other seat, old lady better not have tossed it. ]

Hm...

Edited 2019-05-21 23:30 (UTC)

Yeah, well. So do my fucking friends.

[But he leans over when Kano doesn't finish his sentence, trying to see what caught his attention.]

What?

[ Kano straightens up again, shoving his shoulder against Maverick's to get him back in his own space. ]

Nothing, nothing~ I just had a rea~lly bad idea! But I won't do it, so it's okay!!

[nooo this is his space now!!! He moves back some, but he's definitely still encroaching, arm pressed right against Kano's.]

Can't I hear it anyway?

[ hmm ]

Molotov cocktails.

[JESUS, he laughs reflexively, a short bewildered bark.]

God damn, you weren't fucking kidding about how bad a fucking idea it was.

[Whether it was the actual idea or not, he came up with it so fast, it had to have been rolling around in there somewhere... What a dumb boy. It was some much-needed levity after that exhausting argument, though. He didn't cry...he's so relieved.]

...Maybe when we ambush Ellie, we can revisit the possibility.

[ Those sorts of bad ideas are always rolling around Kano's head, and it's scary how quickly he jumps to them; drink cart, alcohol, molotov cocktails, the thought process is linear. ]

If we can ambush Ellie, I bet she'd bat it right back. Then she would kill us! Looks like we won't be going back to school after all~

I meant more that it would be you two rioting if I don't let you, so I might as well go along with it. We can't throw a fucking molotov at fireball, we gotta keep her nice and small. Good to know you're planning for my death by you to be so immediate, though.

[little bug.]

[ Hmm, yeah, but this satellite campus has a hospital that's curing Ellie's super terrible disease that Kano needs Maverick to kiss better, so maybe it's spared the fate of going up in flames and shattered glass. ]

Tsk, tsk~ If only you knew the extent of all my plans, Mav...

[ He would agree to burn down Kano's bedroom if he did. ]

But you're right, between Ellie and me, there's no way you can escape anything she ways us to do!

[He might, yeah. Get rid of all those summoning circles and pray that Kano doesn't have them memorized. Alas.]

I wouldn't rule me out completely, asshole. I can hold my own. I was a gremlin once, too, you know.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject