suddenlybees | || IC INBOX

[ God damn it, Yuya, you are the THIRD person Kano's made cry today, this is the worst Valentines Day of his life. ]

Okay.

[ In contrast to Yuya's sobbing, Kano doesn't let any of that show— not outwardly, never outwardly, he can cry and wail and curse the world but he will never let anybody see, not in a time like this. Instead, he finally gets up and takes those two, three steps to face Yuya, drops down onto his knees right in front of him, and spreads his arms. ]

...Yuya, come here. It'll be okay. I'll take care of it.

[Once it starts, Yuya's body shakes in a torrent of weeping. He hunches over, trying to stifle himself until Kano crouches down at spreads his arms wide. Yuya doesn't look up when he hears him come closer. It takes a moment before he realizes why he's so close, and then he tips over until his forehead hits Kano's shoulder, burying his face in his hand while the other grips his pants.]

I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry I'm s-so sorry, if I didn't--if I didn't open my big, stupid mouth back there... [If he hadn't talked like he knew better, hadn't cornered him, hadn't failed to check on him after the fight. Hadn't, hadn't, hadn't, because it's always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.]

[ The apologies come and Kano bites at his bottom lip, wrapping his arms around Yuya's shoulders, hands pressed against the back of his head so that those sobs are muffled in Kano's shoulder. For once he doesn't talk, doesn't refute those sorries like his knee-jerk reaction is to, because Yuya's crying and what he needs right now is to just let it all out, cry out his grievances here so that he doesn't completely break down in front of Toki later— it'll have to be him, in the end, as much as Kano wants to take that on himself.

In the end, it's Yuya who knows Toki better, and it's Yuya who will know the first words to say, things to do.

So, while he doesn't agree with any of what Yuya's saying or thinking, he won't interrupt. ]

[Without a conversation to keep going, Yuya's words putter out and leave him only with muffled sobs. It goes on for minutes, Yuya's hands slowly finding their way to tangle into Kano's hoodie and cling to the fabric until he finally runs out of tears. Then his throat hurts, his face is gross, his breathing stumbles on hiccups as he slowly tries to compose himself. He's really no good.

He shifts, his whole body feeling heavy as he tries to pull away from Kano, face red and stained from tears.]

[ Once Yuya's cried himself dry, Kano gives him one last pat on the head before letting him go and sitting back, feeling strangely bereft in the silence and the cold that rushes in between them. He lets out a breath, as low and steady as he can manage, and pushes off his knees onto his feet first so he can help Yuya up after.

It's not Yuya's fault, and it's the hardest thing in the world to change one's mind of once they're convinced of their own guilt. He knows he won't ever be able to shift the guilt and take it upon himself, as much as he wants to shoulder it all if that means Yuya doesn't have to, but it doesn't work that way, does it? It doesn't. But they can always share the guilt; it doesn't have to be only Yuya's burden. ]

Let's go home, for now. We're both to blame, Yuya. I'm at fault too. But we can also remember him, can't it? Make sure his memory isn't forgotten. It's something we can do for him.

[ His memory. ]

[Yuya looks up at Kano, breathing deep in some hope of steadying himself, before taking Kano's hand in helping himself up.

The same way, Yuya doesn't argue with Kano's claim of fault. Even if a part of him is certain he was the tipping point, that Kano could have salvaged it if he didn't intervene.]

His memory... [They'll both claim part of the blame, but that means they share the burden of that future as well. He's right, Tsuyukusa needs to be remembered.

He looks to the side, away from the blood and the horn.] Maybe a shrine...

[He was a tree spirit, after all. Kind of like a kami.]

[ A shrine... like a grave stone, it'll be a constant reminder of their failures, made real and tangible. But they owe it to him, don't they. ]

A shrine sounds good. By a tree close to the dorms, since that's what he originally was, and then it's like he's still watching over... [ Toki.

But maybe Yuya doesn't want to look out his window and have that constant reminder of a shrine. Kano's room is a floor directly above, so every time he looks out the window, it'd be there too.

Toki, though... ]

Sorry, but can I entrust you to talk to Toki about it? About his pet jellyfish.

[Yuya nods, reaching to wipe his face, desperately trying to clear it.] I'll--I'll talk to him. Tell him it died overnight, and...

[He bites his lip and tries really hard not to start crying again. It's really a good thing Toki doesn't show up until well in the morning.]

...Yeah.

[ That's all Yuya has to say. Something simple like that, that Kano can't bring himself to tell Toki because—- he's so selfish. He just doesn't want to give Toki any more reason to hate him. ]

I'll check up on you tomorrow, okay? Would that be okay?

Okay. [Tomorrow, today, Yuya's too heavy to think about how much longer they do or don't have. He has to calm down. Find a way to tell Toki. Put together a shrine, a proper memorial for...

Yuya steps back, twisting around suddenly and ducking down to snatch up the broken horn. It's the last piece of Tsuyukusa left, and he can't leave it to get picked up by anything else.]

[ Kano breathes out sharp when Yuya tears away, and while he instinctively reaches out to grab his arm or something, he stops himself short and lets it happen. It's a stupid idea to take it, the voice in the back of his head says. Let him have what makes him feel better, pipes up the front of his mind. But would keeping that make him feel better or worse?

It's his decision. Kano would have destroyed it, like he plans to return and get rid of all that blood and scraps of cloth after he takes Yuya back to the dorms. ]

[Yuya's hand shakes, but he only grips it tighter as he straightens back up. He stalls for a moment, then turns to Kano with a fragile, watery smile on his face.]

I'll... make sure he gets a really good shrine. He'd probably prefer a burial, right? [Since he's a nature spirit, return to the earth vs getting burnt into ashes. They can bury the last piece of Tsuyukusa they have.]

[ Right... Kano has no idea what Tsuyukusa would prefer, but that only reminds him of the grim task of finding what happened to Tsuyukusa's body later, after he's gotten Yuya home. Thank you Rex for taking care of the body and sparing Kano that... ]

Mm... A little shrine, and I'll write a eulogy or something, I guess.

[Yuya nods, starting forward again so he can return to the dorm with Kano. If they didn't make his last day any better, they can do this much for him.]

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